Are you confused about what your girlfriend wants and unsure what to ask her? We have 315 questions to get conversations rolling and build your relationship. Show
Your desire to be intentional in your relationship makes you incredibly attractive to your girlfriend. She needs to be seen and heard by you. According to research by Harvard, the amount of talking done by men and women is situational, and women talk more when seeking collaboration. As you ask questions, approach it as a way to develop attunement and connection together. If she senses you’re seeking relational collaboration, she’ll be more prone to open up and communicate how she feels. These questions will help you attune to your girlfriend by learning about her heart, values, and needs. So ask the questions, and please make sure to listen. Take 2000+ Conversation Starters to Go – FREE!Never be left in awkward silence again. Take our best conversation starters with you, so you’re prepared for any situation. Save your favorites for quick access, browse by category, and quickly share any starter to other apps. And the best part? It’s FREE!
Get your girlfriend talking about positive things—the memories that give her all the good feelings and make her smile. Even though you weren’t there, when she shares those memories with you, it connects you to a piece of her past. As you grow in your relationship, change this question to, “What’s your favorite memory about us?” or “Do you remember when we…?”. Memories help us make sense of who we are and can even remind us of what we care about. Make sure to take time to make space in your relationship for both memories that you share and memories that have shaped you separately.
This is a big one. Did she grow up in a secure family environment? Did her parents show her healthy love or cause her to doubt or even fear love relationships? Don’t probe too deeply on this one if she seems closed to sharing. The fact she doesn’t want to talk about it says a lot. Revisit it later once you’re closer and have more trust between you. Pro Tip: If she is cynical about love, ask whether she’s ready for a serious relationship right now. If this is an area she is working to improve, you’ll need to develop open communication early on. Find out what she needs to feel safe and secure in the relationship.
Every woman faces layers of pressure on her body, her career, and the checkpoints of success. Society and family often place expectations of how to be sexy, beautiful, and successful without being too sexy, too beautiful, and too successful. Just like the pressures and expectations you face, there’s a fine line that people expect a woman to walk. How is that impacting her? How can you support her? Understanding this will help you be more sensitive to her emotions, and you’ll know why she makes certain choices. If she’s from a different culture, this question allows her to explain how her culture sees a woman’s role differently than your culture does.
Sometimes, a woman needs you to make it easy to ask questions she might not naturally yell out in the middle of a conversation. Maybe she wants to know if you’re married with 12 kids, but asking feels awkward, and she doesn’t want you to be offended. But she really, really needs to know. Or maybe she wants to know if this is serious for you or if you like her. By asking her this question, you indicate that it’s ok to ask whatever is on her mind. Pro Tip: Don’t get offended by her question, whatever it may be. Instead, show you have nothing to hide and that you are confident and secure without needing to be defensive.
What does she value so much she can’t live without? Ask follow-up questions to spark further conversation and dig deeper into her values. Follow-up questions based on possible travel items:
If she’s thoughtful and unlikely to brag on herself, this question shows you a part of her she might keep quiet. You’ll also learn about how she thinks and maybe even how sneaky she can be when planning a surprise. Follow-up questions:
This is a fun question that can lead to conversations on what she was like in high school and how she’s changed over the years. Hopefully, she has! You want a girlfriend who grows with her experiences and hasn’t stayed in a strange time warp of never changing. Follow-up questions:
Pro Tips:
This is a great question to ask early in the relationship, so you’re both on the same page. Find out what she’s comfortable with and what her cultural or religious beliefs are around physical intimacy. Nonverbal cues can be informative, but remember, they aren’t the primary indication of consent! And we aren’t just talking sex here—different women will have other desires and expectations of what is appropriate and when. Having an open conversation demonstrates respect for her and gives you a chance to share your cultural or religious beliefs if they are different than hers.
Was she the kind that drank the sugary milk after the cereal soaked in the bowl for a disgusting amount of time? Or did her single mom only get Kix as a special treat because they didn’t have money to buy it regularly? You can learn much about her background from this fun and innocuous question. If all you discover is a shared obsession with Cocoa Puffs, this question is a warm and fuzzy dose of nostalgia.
Do you have compatible spiritual views? Find out the answer to this question early on, and explore how important it is to be consistent in this area. For some, this is a dealbreaker. Down the road, you may face questions about what spiritual belief to raise the kids with, and there may be tensions between your two families. Even if you aren’t looking at marriage any time soon, these are questions to explore early and determine where you’re willing to flex and what isn’t negotiable.
If you want her to feel attracted to you, give her control of the conversation. Ask her a question, “I don’t expect to do all the talking in this relationship. I want to hear what you say, and I’m open to discussing what is important to you.” You’re also positioning yourself to be different from other guys who may have let her down, even in subtle ways. Pro Tip: While she’s talking, lean forward, quickly nod three times, and keep your ears open. Maintain good eye contact so she knows you care about the answer to this question. Want more communication tips? Check out 10 Effective Ways You Can Improve Your Communication Skills
Sometimes, women get placed in a box by choices from their past or family expectations. Give her a chance to share who she is and that you want to see the real her. She may feel overlooked and underestimated by others but knows she has leadership skills. Maybe she was one in high school, but today she’s completely different. If she still lives in the same community, other people may be holding her back; they still view her as the teenager they used to know. More than anyone in her life, she needs you to see her for who she is and who she could become. This can be a vulnerable question, so when she shares, ensure you build her up and encourage her to live up to her potential.
Learn about her passions and what gives her purpose every day. You may also find out about responsibilities you didn’t know she had. Maybe she has a child she didn’t tell you about yet, or she lives with her sister and helps take care of her nephew. Whether it’s family ties or an entrepreneurial endeavor, you’ll get a picture of her life and where you might fit in it.
You know you’ve hit the danger zone when your girlfriend says, “I’m fine,” or, “It doesn’t matter.” Or even worse, the wall of silence. What if you could improve communication and pick up on the signals before she’s “fine”? She might start compulsively snacking or pacing the floor. Maybe she starts baking or becomes inexplicably critical of everything you do. Learn her coping mechanisms, so you know when to give her support and when to give her a little space. This question will also show how self-aware she is and whether this is something you’ll need to work on as a couple. Follow-up questions:
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Unlock the Secrets of CharismaControl and leverage the tiny signals you’re sending—from your stance and facial expressions to your word choice and vocal tone—to improve your personal and professional relationships.
How does she perceive herself? Does she underestimate her positive qualities or overestimate them? It’s good to know how she views herself, and you can even build her up in the areas she feels strongest. Pro Tip: After she answers, tell her what you like most about her (hint: now is not the time to compliment her butt or her lips, stick to character qualities).
It’s never comfortable to ask someone if they have mental or physical concerns, but when you’re in a relationship, it’s essential to know what your SO is struggling with. For example, if she has an autoimmune disease, she probably won’t have the strength to keep pace with you and could find endless outings exhausting and painful. If either of you is struggling with mental illness or physical concerns that require medication, it’s helpful to know what those medications are. You may have to take some medicines simultaneously every day, while others cause restrictions on things like alcohol consumption. Don’t be afraid to ask, and make sure you answer the questions too. If either of you has a health concern the other person doesn’t understand, share your limitations and how the other person can be more supportive. Make sure to find out what their physical and emotional triggers are and learn their emergency plan (e.g., emergency meds, epi-pen, on-call mental health professional, trusted family member, etc.).
Is she passive-aggressive? Does she hold a grudge just waiting to get even? If this is an area she’s working to grow in, progress slowly and pay attention to any toxic patterns that emerge. Help her express her emotions so you can work through them together. If she doesn’t see this as a problem or even thinks it’s funny, you’re looking at a relationship that could turn toxic very quickly.
If you’re starting to get serious, do a values check. Do you have similar political views, and if not, are you comfortable with that? It’s possible to love someone with different political views than yourself but explore early on whether you are comfortable with that tension. Some ideals may be deal-breakers for one or both of you, and that’s important to know before getting too far in the relationship. If it’s not a dealbreaker, talk about how you can hold differing views and still be respectful of the other person.
Learn how she handles stress and what her pet peeves are. If you know her frustrations, you can avoid annoying her. You can also keep an eye out for when she’s getting frustrated and help by distracting her attention or saying something funny.
It sounds like a simple question, but it gives you important information. Ask this early (even on the first date) to find out what you have in common. It might sound odd, but follow up by asking if she does her favorite things! She may be in a season of her life where busyness and accomplishing her goals have pushed out the things she loves to do. This is an excellent opportunity to surprise her by incorporating her favorite things into your following dates. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Deep Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendNot sure how to get to know your girlfriend? Ask these deep questions to open up conversations. Get her telling stories, and the conversation will flow.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Cute Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendAll your questions don’t have to be deep ones. Ask cute questions to build positive emotions.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Fun Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendThese fun questions will teach you more about her thoughts while keeping them light. If her answers get serious, just go with it!
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Serious Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendAs you get to know each other, it’s time to ask more serious questions. These questions will help you explore past experiences and understand some of the things she may be struggling with.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Romantic Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendYour girlfriend needs you to ask questions about emotional and relational intimacy. Whether it’s talking about sexual expectations or what makes her feel heard, you can make it easier by starting the conversation. Also, don’t assume that every woman loves red roses or that just because she’s giving you all the cues that she’s ready to have sex. Talk openly about what you both are expecting and needing and what you both feel makes for a healthy relationship.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Intimate Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendYou’ve been together long enough to develop trust, and both are interested in long-term commitment. It’s time to take things deeper and start asking questions to understand what your girlfriend has gone through and how that might impact your relationship. When you know the hurts or wounds she experienced, you can avoid hurting her (even unintentionally!) in those same ways.
Pro Tip: Don’t ask direct questions about possible abuse, such as, “Have you experienced domestic violence?”. She may not be ready to tell you about the things she has experienced, and a direct question takes away her ability to choose. Plus, she may have had past boyfriends who shamed her for the abuse she experienced. If you suspect she has gone through some negative experiences, wait for her to initiate the conversation. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Random Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendThese random questions range from silly to serious, all to learn more about each other.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Flirty Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendWish she’d look at you like the leading man in her favorite Kdrama? Skip the dramatic (and painful!) wrist grab and ask her these flirty questions instead.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Funny Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendShe likes it when you can make her laugh. These questions will allow you to laugh together, even if you aren’t funny.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Interesting Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend about YourselfWondering what she thinks about you or what you can do to be a better boyfriend? Ask her!
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Unique Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendAsk questions that reveal something unique or surprising about your girlfriend.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Weird Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendA little weird, and a little random, these questions can be good icebreakers or used when the conversation is lagging.
↑ Table of Contents ↑ Cultural Questions to Ask Your GirlfriendIf you’re dating someone from a different culture, it’s easy to be confused or have miscommunication. Ask your girlfriend questions about her culture to know what to expect. This will help to minimize conflict and lay a foundation to navigate your differences.
Does your girlfriend need a list of questions too? 325 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend Which theorist presented one of the most important theoretical perspectives on the development of adolescent intimacy?Erikson believed that a strong sense of personal identity was important for developing intimate relationships. Studies have demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and are more likely to struggler with emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression.
How has the practice of dating among adolescents changed over the past 30 years multiple choice?How has the practice of dating among adolescents changed over the past 30 years? It has decreased substantially. Relationships with the other sex play a more important role in the development of intimacy among (boys/girls) than among (boys/girls) .
Which of the following terms describes a person who has an exaggerated sense of self importance and who requires almost constant admiration?Narcissistic personality disorder: a pattern of need for admiration and lack of empathy for others. A person with narcissistic personality disorder may have a grandiose sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, take advantage of others or lack empathy.
How do the cognitive changes of adolescence affect achievement quizlet?the cognitive changes of adolescence allow individuals to engage in longer-term, hypothetical thinking and planning about their educational and occupational futures. The transition into new social roles is probably the most important influence on achievement in adolescence.
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