Talking about the reasons why a child cannot do something is characteristic of

Summary

• The most important thing to remember is that your two or three year old is still a baby.
• Temper tantrums are common in this age group.
• They may play with other children for a short time, but aren't yet capable of true sharing.
• By two, many children are naming lots of things and, by the end of this year, most are saying short sentences.

This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:

This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:

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Child development at 6-8 years: what’s happening

Playing and learning
Your child’s play is complex now. At this age, children often play out ideas they’ve come across at school or in the media. For example, you might find yourself serving dinner to a scuba diver, a rock star – or maybe even the Prime Minister!

Because your child is better at controlling their own behaviour and emotions, your child copes better with games that involve rules, as well as with winning, losing and playing fair.

Your child also enjoys making friends and being a friend. Friendships give children a sense of belonging and help them learn and practise basic social skills like sharing and negotiating.

Friendships can also be challenging because friends can sometimes be bossy or cross. Sometimes friends might even leave your child out. Most of your child’s relationships will be positive, but keep an eye out for signs of bullying.

Feelings
Children want to please the important adults in their lives, like parents and teachers. So you might notice that doing things the ‘right way’ becomes very important to your child. On the other hand, at times your child might seem over-confident.

Your child can be easily embarrassed and sensitive to other people’s views and beliefs. In fact, your child has a lot of empathy when family and friends are distressed. But at times your child can be very self-critical and might need your help to focus on the things they do well.

You might notice that your child is more aware of disaster news and distressing news stories. This growing awareness can cause some anxiety and fear, so talking about tough topics can help your child make sense of things.

Thinking
Children have a much better understanding of the relationship between cause and effect. They begin to see how their actions affect other people, although sometimes they still seem focused on themselves.

Memory is also improving, and your child can group objects according to size, shape and colour. Your child has a good understanding of numbers and can do simple maths problems like adding and subtracting.

Be prepared for a lot of questions as your child keeps exploring the world. Your child might do small experiments to see how things work. For example, they might fill up the toilet with soap and flush it, just to see what happens.

There’s a lot happening at this age, so you might notice that your child gets distracted easily and forgets small requests and instructions from you.

Talking and communicating
Children can follow more complex instructions and use language to explore their thoughts and feelings. The average 8-year-old learns about 20 new words each day, mostly through being read to or reading.

Your child now has longer and more complex conversations, and you should be able to understand all of their speech.

By 8, your child is learning to voice opinions. They also tell stories with plenty of energy and emotion. Your child can follow a simple recipe, write stories based on daily life, write an email or instant message, and read independently in bed at night.

Moving
At this age, children enjoy testing their physical limits and developing more complex moving skills, like running in a zig-zag pattern, jumping down steps, doing cartwheels and catching small balls.

Your child is getting better at combining gross motor skills like running to kick a ball or skipping while turning a rope. These physical skills depend on how often your child practises them. Structured sports like dance classes, tennis and soccer all help, but plenty of opportunities to run, kick, throw, cartwheel and more are just as important.

Fine motor skills are well developed now. For example, your child can cut out irregular shapes and write smaller letters inside the lines in school books.

Daily life and behaviour
At this age, your child is becoming even more independent. For example, by 8 years of age, your child can brush their teeth and do other daily hygiene tasks without your help.

Your child’s life is all about family, school, friends and after-school activities. Your child might enjoy collecting items like footy cards, shells or small figurines.

Your child’s morals and values are developing, and your child might share strong opinions about whether things are right or wrong. Children will also be more aware of what others are doing. This might lead to comparisons like ‘They’re better at drawing than me’ or complaints about siblings getting more of something.

Children are even more independent and want more say in what they can and can’t do. As part of this independence, they might enjoy doing more chores around the house – at least sometimes! But spending time with you is still important to them.

At this age, children might also:

• like to tell jokes and talk up their skills or behaviour – for example, ‘I can eat 10 hamburgers at once!’
• write numbers and words more accurately, but they might still confuse some letters – for example, b/d and p/g
• have better reading than spelling skills
• begin to understand the value of money and enjoy counting and saving
• take more interest in their appearance and in clothing or hairstyle trends
• be better at telling the difference between fantasy and reality
• be interested in using technology and having screen time.

Helping child development at 6-8 years

Here are simple things you can do to help your child’s development at this age:

• Build your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence by recognising their strengths. Sometimes children’s self-esteem goes down in the primary school years as they become more self-critical and compare themselves with others.
• Let your child see you trying new things and making mistakes. This helps your child understand that learning and improving involves making mistakes, but the key thing is to never give up and to be kind to yourself.
• Give your child opportunities to explore and learn, inside and outside. Inside they can experiment with things like cups, thermometers, magnifying glasses and jars for storing things. Outside you could explore your local park or nature reserve together.
• Make time for play each day. Play can include outdoor play, imaginative and creative activities, digital play, physical play and more. It's also important for your child to have time for free play.
• Play with your child each day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Playing together gives you the chance to enter your child’s world and find out about their thoughts and feelings. It also shows your child that you care about them and want to spend time together.
• Read with your child. Reading is still very important for literacy development. As your child learns to read, try having your child read to you. You can also try literacy activities like telling stories or making your own book.
• Encourage your child to be aware of the consequences of behaviour and see things from other people’s points of view. You can do this by asking questions like, ‘How do you think Jane feels when you do that?’
• Share ideas and discuss important issues with your child. This helps you connect with your child and shows that you’re interested in their ideas. As your child gets older, allow them to join in family decision-making, where appropriate.

Parenting a school-age child

As a parent, you’re always learning. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s OK to admit you don’t know something and ask questions or get help.

It’s also important to look after yourself. Looking after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally is good for you, and it’s good for your child. When you’re well, you can give your child the loving attention they need to grow and thrive. You can also guide your child’s behaviour in positive ways, even when you find their behaviour challenging.

And remember that part of looking after yourself is asking for help, especially if you’re feeling stressed, anxious or angry. There are many people who can support you and your child, including your partner, friends, relatives and GP.

Never shake, hit or verbally abuse a child. You risk harming your child, even if you don’t mean to. If you feel like you can’t cope, it’s OK to take some time out until you feel calmer. Gently put your child in a safe place like their bedroom. Go to another room to breathe deeply, or call your state or territory parenting helpline.

When to be concerned about child development at 6-8 years

You know your child best. So it’s a good idea to see your GP if you have any concerns or notice that your child has any of the following issues at 6-8 years.

Communication and understanding
Your child:

• has a stutter or lisp when talking
• has difficulty following instructions.

Behaviour and play
Your child:

• finds it hard to make friends
• can’t skip, hop or jump
• has trouble sitting still for a long time
• is aggressive with other children
• doesn’t show empathy – for example, doesn’t try to comfort others who are hurt or upset
• seems to be afraid of going to school or refuses to go to school.

Everyday skills
Your child:

• can’t get dressed or undressed independently
• experiences daytime wetting or soiling
• still has regular night-time wetting at 8 years.

See a child health professional if at any age your child experiences a noticeable and consistent loss of skills.

Development usually happens in the same order in most children, but skills might develop at different ages or times. If you’re wondering whether your child’s development is on track, or if you feel that something isn’t quite right, it’s best to get help early. See your GP.

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